The work office is a dangerous place. The drama, the intrigue, the inability to stab co workers right in the jugular. There are also many essentials to keeping an office together…. pens, post it notes and mutual loathing. The filtered water dispenser too has an indispensable role in your office which this article will clearly outline to you, so without further ado, the 6 reasons why you should have a filtered water dispenser for your office:
- You live in a Kafkaesque nightmare of white collar dystopia. The dreams you’ve given up on…like pursing music, acting and poetry. Alas to the hopes that have been dashed for the exhausting hours you churn out for work.
This could have been you….
Considering what you’ve sacrificed, the least they can do is give you fresh water to drink!! You are owed this!! For socialism, for democracy, for equality and whatever else you used to protest about on the manicured lawns of your university before reality beat you into defeated submission.
Defeat is bitter, so much bitterness
It’s not just about filtered water, it’s about what the filtered water embodies. Your soul.
- Because you do lunch time yoga and meditation which means you are one with the environment now…obviously. What hurts the environment inevitably hurts you and every time a plastic bottle is used it’s like physical pain to you…actually, that could just be indigestion from eating way too many of Rhonda’s cookies but whatever. Filtered water dispensers don’t use plastic.
You are totally one with the universe. Totally.
- Speaking of the environment, nobody likes you at work so you made friends with the little bird that flies past your cubicle window and now you care that its habitat doesn’t get destroyed by plastic and stuff. You are now The Bird Whisperer.
It’s just you and me Tweety, just you and me….
- Do you know the one thing you can never get back? Time. Who waits for a kettle to boil now except for plebs?? If you wanted to slum it, then you’d go to the outback with nothing but your sleeping bag and tin can and boil water to make your tea made of gumtree leaves. However, you have no time to explore the outback, therefore filtered water dispensers which don’t require a wait time for hot water, are a necessity.
Maybe if you were this girl right here with the wind in her hair, you’d boil your own tea….
Unfortunately, as it is, you’re more like the guy in glasses, acting like you know what’s going on in your office meeting….
You totally know what’s going on…. totally….
- With all that pure, filtered water running through your veins, you can feel like this….
The purest of waters runneth through my veins as I am one with water and water floweth down my spine of blue
- Or this guy ….
I have no words to describe this guy and honestly, I don’t think he needs one.