It has taken me quite awhile for me to communicate with you, dearest one. It is not carelessness or a lack of love that has kept me from writing to you but rather grief, such grief. My wish to not burden you with my troubles, my desire to keep you in peace has forced me to keep my distance lest I inadvertently disturb you with my misery. But darling, I cannot continue on in this way, lying to you in a desperate bid to protect you from what seems to be inevitable and so, forgive me, I must break your innocence and reveal what I have tried to hide from you for so long.
We are dying. There is no gentler way to put it. But this gradual deterioration has now become sudden and I fear that our time is fast running out.
If they continue on in the way that they have, I fear, they will find themselves at an utter loss. I dread their terrible end.
It is for them that I grieve, my anger and my bitterness is now completely eclipsed by my grief for them. To choke me in the way that they have, to suffocate me with their selfishness, it seems I still have room to grieve for them.
It’s not that I don’t understand. It’s not that I want to confine their creativity, their inventions and their discoveries but is there no end to this? I understand it is difficult to stop when new things are discovered. Excitement can often blind us to consequence. These shiny, indestructible things. Fast, unstoppable things. Things that give them the illusion of invincibility.
Yet this need to continue on at such a high cost…I thought that they would stop at some point. They do not.
To steadily destroy all that I love.
Dark times, my darling, dark times are ahead of us. You must remain strong.
And finally, my love, here’s to you and how much you tried, here’s to the little we have left and here’s to the kindness that could never last.
All my love,